In discussing Sexual Harassment Training, I have come across many instances of women who are creating the problem rather than solving it. I believe that I can speak for those of us who have been damaged by sexual harassment/assault, when I say, “Stop!” If you are participating in behavior that reinforces sexual harassment, then, I demand you to quit.
One example of women who are reinforcing this issue is the woman who uses her sexuality to get what she wants. In 2017, if you think that getting what you want by flirting or using your sexuality is okay, you’re wrong. You should only be getting what you want by means of intelligence, skills, and capabilities. Otherwise, you are part of the problem.
In trying to end sexual harassment, solidarity is required. If you want to flirt, that is your prerogative. I’m not slut-shaming. I’m not trying to say that there is anything wrong with exuding sexuality. I’m saying when someone purposefully uses their sexuality to obtain a position, a raise, or other benefits, then it becomes a different issue. This is why people think that sexual harassment is okay: because some women accept it.
I do not want to obtain a higher position because of my sexuality. I do not want to get a raise because of my sexuality. I want to obtain a higher position because I am smart, strong, and competent. I want to obtain a raise because I earned it. Women taking shortcuts and allowing their sexuality to be used are demeaning the accomplishments of people like me, and ultimately, I am sick of it.
I used to be terrible at interviews, and since I can’t stand being terrible at things, I decided to do what I do best and research ways to get better. Granted, my wife also helped me because of her experience as a supervisor. With her expertise and some of my solutions development skills, I put together a brief course that can help people master resumes and interviews with REAL knowledge.
When I would interview, I would either “prepare” by Googling information or just wing it. First, Googling information is no longer a feasible means of preparation. Having a plethora of information is overwhelming and useless. Having knowledge is actually understanding the information and being able to apply it. Second, winging it is never a good idea. I would go in, unprepared, and when I would be asked a question that I did not know the answer to, I would laugh. Nervous laughter would come bursting from my gut. It was horribly embarrassing, and it never ended well. I would leave hating myself, and I would not get the job. Why would someone want to hire someone who was obviously unprepared and crazy?
These experiences fueled me to create this course, and to use the information myself to improve my resume writing skills and my interviewing skills. I developed simple formulas for answering questions, and traits to enhance the resume. If you too want to improve these skills, go here to access the free course:
I stayed in a marriage for too long because of the frightening process of divorce. I had kids, so I was scared to hurt them. I was a woman, so I was scared to be financially screwed. However, as I was writing my book this morning, I realized that I focused a lot on the process and not the product. Most of the time, the process is more important than the product, but not in divorce. The product of divorce is freedom! Nearly nothing is better than freedom. I wish that the many times I had attempted to end my marriage I could have seen the freedom. I would have pushed through all the bullshit sooner so I could quit wasting my time.
I talk a lot about divorce in my book because it was a major turning point in my life. I was a different person before I got a divorce because I was trapped in a bad situation. Being free has allowed me to change in so many ways for the better. My health has improved, my financial situation has actually improved, and my confidence has improved. I am following my dreams (cheesy, yes, but true!) because I am no longer held back by a negative view of life. Divorce sucked. People got hurt; money was blown; things changed. But, at the end of the day, these struggles were invaluable learning experiences. And, the light at the end of the tunnel is amazing. It was truly worth it.
I am in the editing process of writing, so, fingers crossed, the book will be out soon. I’m self publishing for the first time and am super nervous and excited about it. I will be writing about the process as well. The book is going to be called, Evolving Through Bullshit. Maybe you’ll try it out.