3 Proven Ways to Improve Your Personal Finances Today

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I recently released a course on how to improve your personal finances, and no one bought it. I personally think this is because my marketing skills are horrible. I assume that this is the way people buy things: they see it, they want it, they buy it. However, studies have proven that there is way more to marketing than that. I know that I am very stubborn, so I hired a coach. Yes, coaches hire coaches. That’s a testament to what we do: we know that coaching works. Whenever I am struggling with a process, I know that I need to bring in the expert. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s not okay to repeat the same mistakes over and over.

This reminds me of why I created the course in the first place. It’s based on my second book, Evolving through Bullshit. There is a chapter in there titled “Bankruptcy” that addresses how I improved my personal finances. Well, it actually just grazes the surface of the mindset, and this is why I created the course. I wanted to share with others the MAGIC of changing your mind about money.

When I sat down to speak with my coach, I had no idea where we would end up–me crying because I am standing in my own way because I am scared to make too much money. Yep, you read that correctly. I am scared of making too much money. I know that sounds crazy, and I didn’t even expect it. And, this is why I needed a coach. I needed an expert to draw the truth from me about why I stand in my way when it comes to asking for and receiving the money that I earn and deserve.

Here are some of the things I learned that align with and go beyond the course:

  • Our Relationships with Money ARE Psychological

What the hell does this mean? They are similar to the relationships that we have with people. If you have had a bad experience with money, i.e. it caused fights when you were young, it let you down, etc., that stays with you just like when you have a bad experience with a person.

  • If We Associate Negative Outcomes with Money, It Will Scare Us Away

I have watched money tear people apart. When my grandparents died, my family became an ugly mess. People said nasty things about each other. A big moment that stuck with me was holding my grandmother’s hand while she was very sick and her saying, “They’re only here for my money.”

  • Society May Teach Us the Wrong Way to Think about Money

This was huge in my book. When I started making changes in my life, I examined the way that I thought about money and the things that I was buying, and I realized that these things did not align with my values. They were not important to me. They did not bring me joy. Most of the things were just things that I thought I should have because they were what other people had. For example, I bought a pretty big house when I was 26. I thought this house would fix my marriage. Instead, it became a big money-sucking pit that only made me feel more trapped in a bad relationship.

Understanding these things really helped me, but that was just the first step. Here are some ways that I overcame these issues:

  • Change Your Thoughts with Affirmations/Mantras
    • If something has been ingrained in your mind, you have to make a conscious effort to change it. For me and money, this was the negative thoughts I had. I had to write this down and say it over and over until I believed it:
      • Money is good. Money can help me achieve my goals. Money can help me do good in the world. Money can help me help others.
  • Fill the Negative Space with Positive
    • I also had to start having better memories replace those horrible ones that I associated with money.
      • Remember the feeling of getting money as a reward for hard work. Focus on the positive memories.
      • Remember the feeling of giving money to someone in need.
  • Examine Your Habits and Values
    • Determining what you really value can help you improve your spending habits because you can align them with each other.
      • I sold my big house and moved to one less than half the size, and I love it. It’s easy to clean, more affordable, and easy to maintain.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by finances and keep making the same decisions over and over, maybe it’s time for you to hire an expert. I am not an accountant or a financial adviser, but I am an expert in improving personal finances. You can try my course online here: Julie’s Finance Course. I also offer one-on-one coaching as well.

If you’re interested in my dirty laundry, you should snag a copy of my book here: Evolving through Bullshit

Pain

Although my new book is fiction, it is rooted in my experience. As I write about the mother and her hatred for her daughter that stems from her hatred of homosexuals, I can’t help but wonder what happened to the pictures that my mother had of me. I wonder if she burned them.  I wonder if she threw them away. I wonder if when she takes out her photo albums to look back at times past, if there are empty spaces where I once was, or has she filled them with someone who took my place? I wonder if she left them there and pretends that I died on the day that she walked away from me. I wonder if she wonders the same thing.

I long to move forward and forget this pain, but it won’t go away. So, I write it. I write it in hopes of offering solidarity to someone who may suffer as well. I write it in hopes of saving someone from hurting their own child out of ignorance. Someone may respond to this and say, “Your mother loves you,” or something with the good intentions of comforting me. I don’t need comfort. I write to get it out, not for sympathy. Besides, I know a mother’s love. And, no fear of eternal flames could keep me from giving it. I would walk through those flames for my children no matter who they loved or what they did. They are and always will be mine.